Let me introduce you to my husband, Dave. In April we will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, we dated for 5 years before we married.....we have been together for 25 years!! I have been with him for over 1/2 my life!! It is mind boggling to think of it that way.
We met when I was 17 and a Senior in High School. He was 25 and working for the Major Oil Company he still works for. I was living at home, he was not. He drove a sports car, I did not have a car. Yes, my parents were a bit freaked out by the whole situation....actually "freaked out" is putting it mildly.
We met through my friend who was dating his brother. At the time I had a boyfriend and for awhile I dated both...I know, I was bad!! Then it was exclusively Dave and has been ever since. Now, mind you, we have a daughter who is 12 years old and the other day I asked Dave what he would do if she started dating a twenty something man while she was 17 years old. Interesting concept isn't it? We did it....it turned out fine. I am sure we would blow a gasket though, I kinda feel sorry for my parents now for putting them through that. The good part of all of it is that they have alway liked Dave, now they love him to death. I guess that made it a bit easier. Also, I was very strong willed (what? you're surprised??).
So we met, dated for 5 years, 5 very tumultuous years and then we got married, because that was just the next thing to do. Forget the fact that we fought most of the time...it was time to get married!! I look back and see how immature and irresponsible we were. Because we were so irresponsible, I thought we should have a baby right away....so out went my birth control pills 3 months before we married, no sense waiting around!! We are a perfect example of Divine Guidance!! Someone (with capital S) knew that we were so not ready to be parents....I never got pregnant. Looking back, this was such a blessing.
We went through some rough years, our first years of marriage. We did not know how to communicate, how to fight fairly, how to be married, how to be nice to each other, how to trust each other, how to respect each other. Slowly, slowly, we learned how to do all those things. We went to marriage counseling a few times. I went to college and got my Dental Hygiene Degree. We bought our first house, actually it will probably be our last house too!! We learned how to communicate, how to respect each other, how to be married.
Then, it was time to start a family....we adopted our beautiful daughter and 4 years later adopted our son. Through everything, what kept us together was our deep love for each other..without that we would not have made it. I am sure that people who knew us 20 - 25 years ago would not believe that we are still married or that we are happy, they would not recognize us at all!!
I think we are in the place we are today because of our journey. All of our challenges, disappointments, hurts, pain has made us the people we are today. We still have disagreements, we are human.....but we are proud to say that our children have NEVER seen the worst of us...the people we were 20 - 25 years ago. Thank God for that!
Today, I love this man deeply and I know he feels the same about me. He makes me laugh on a daily basis. He drives me crazy on a daily basis. He is a wonderful father. We have long in-depth conversations on a regular basis. We go out on "dates" and still enjoy each other's company, and don't talk about the kids the whole time!! We will still dance to our favorite songs. Our life is good....we have worked hard....we will have struggles in the future....we will overcome them and become stronger. We have before.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
My Wonderful Husband
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4 comments:
Such a beautiful story! It sounds like you guys worked out the bumps, very early on, so that is good! I believe that wherever we are, is where we are meant to be in life. You and your husband were meant to work things out with each other and your family. Look at how perfectly everything fits together now! I can really relate to your story because my husband and I were pretty young when we met, too. We have been together for 27 years, and married for 23. Life is great.(other than my chronic illness, which stinks) We have a loving family and a very strong marriage.
It's nice to read about another couple who understands that although marriage is hard work, it is worth every minute of it!
Hugs,
Debbie
that is such a beautiful story. you posted this at such a great time,for me. having some "issues" on the homefront and...you give me some hope.
so, thank you!
xoxo
I really enjoyed this post. I have only been with my husband for 6.5 years (we're practically still newlyweds ;-) but I really understood what you meant about learning to be together. We were 31 when we got married & we ended up going to couciling that first year. I so got what you meant, but I think because of that we can totally fight/disagree without it being personal. It was a huge epiphany for us to get that.
Thanks for coming by my blog too. I'll be back.
So sweet!
What a happy story to read...
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