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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Our adoption journey, Part 1

The year was 1994. We had been married for 6 years. During that time, I had gone to college, graduated, and started my career as a Dental Hygienist. We had just bought our first house and had gone on a wonderful trip to Victoria, British Columbia. We had also gone through some rough times in our marriage and had worked through the bumps in the road. Our marriage was strong, our careers were set, we were financially secure (as much as one can be!!), we were ready to begin the next phase of our lives. We were ready to become parents.

We knew our road to parenthood would not be easy. We did not use birth control, at all. We delved into the infertility nightmare about 4 years prior to this. At that time we decided to finish my education before getting on the infertility rollercoaster. So, here we were, 4 years later, ready to jump on the ride....away we go!!

Without going into all the details here...after much testing we found out that our only option was to do Invitro Fertilization. This procedure cost around $10,000 and we had roughly a 20% chance of success. I wanted to be pregnant more than I wanted to breathe. I dreamed of pregnancy, labor, childbirth, breastfeeding. I ached for it. I envisioned a little girl with her Daddy's brown curly hair, or a little boy with my blond curly hair. I even dreamed of being in labor and giving birth to a little girl. I wanted to go for it. I needed to go for it. My emotions were in control....all sensibilities were gone. My mind was set....we were going for it, I was ready. Dave on the other hand was not so sure....

He was more practical. He saw the figures...the cost, the success rate. He was not dreaming of pregnancy or labor or breastfeeding. He was looking at dollars and cents and percentages and emotional costs. He was being realistic.

Have you ever seen a woman on a mission? When her emotions overrule all sensibilities? When her mind is on a one way track? That was me and no one was changing my mind.

"We will just give it one shot honey. If it doesn't work than we will look into adoption. I just want to try once."

That was my mantra....."I just want to try once."

He agreed. We would give it one shot. This was in the summer of 1994. We figured we would have the money saved up by January of 1995. We were on the rollercoaster, buckled in and ready for the ride, test after test, appointment after appointment...

...until one warm sunny day in August, 1994 when I recieved a phone call from our doctor which would turn my world upside down....

(to be continued...)

12 comments:

ChrisB said...

A cliff hanger~how could you stop there. I hope the next installment comes soon!

Irene Latham said...

Have you seen the movie Juno? There is a scene in it that will break your heart for the Jennifer Gardner character who is trying to adopt. I won't say it, because I don't want to spoil it! Just wanted to say your post made me think of it.

Cynthia said...

ugh. I am soo impatient. I guess I kind of know how it ends since I have seen your kids but ugh, I want the details!

Chrys said...

Alison!!! what are you doing? don't quit there. ok, I am checking in tomorrow.

suchsimplepleasures said...

i must know what happens!!! i. must. know!! not good in the patience dept...i'm a good patient but, not good at patience!!
btw...been to victoria, bc! it's gorgeous!
xo...
can't wait to find out what happens...although, i know that somehow...you have a couple really cute kids!

Megnificent said...

Damn you! Now I have to sit here all night and continuously hit the refresh button.

Beccy said...

I'm also dying to hear the rest of the story.

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

Nooooo...that was just plain cruel!! More please!

swampy said...

Have I ever seen a woman on a mission?
Aren't we all on a mission of some kind? Giggle Giggle.

What's this: "to be continued $hi+?"

Karen said...

Ug...a cliffhanger. (Good strategy, by the way!! lol)

Can't wait to hear the rest of the story!!

Debra w said...

Alison,

I am glad that I read this post today because now I can read the second part immediately! I'll see you there!

Hugs,
Deb

Andrya said...

Alison,
I'm so thankful that I came into this so late, because I have you number and if you hadn't writen the next part already I'd be blowing up the phone lines... or I'd just drive right over to you house!!! I love you!!!