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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Footprints of a Family, our second adoption journey, part 11

this journey begins here


Every night we went to sleep anticipating a phone call. Every morning we woke up without one.


Monday morning rolled around and we had an appointment with our attorney. If you remember, we retained an attorney and an adoption agency in South Carolina in addition to the attorney and agency we had in California. Our attorney was quite the character. I wish I could use his real name because it was a classic Southern Gentleman's name. For the sake of this story, we will refer to him as Colonel Sanders, because that is exactly who he resembled. I am sure our jaws hit the floor the first time we saw him.




Colonel Sanders had never facilitated an out of state adoption, before ours. The birthfather was not cooperating, at all. In fact he was being difficult, to say the least. This created quite a dilemma for us and it had the potential to be a disaster. The birthfather was ignoring all correspondence and refused to sign any papers. He thought we were paying L and he wanted his fair share. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. Mr. Sanders was retained in order to circumvent a disaster. His southern hospitality and warm demeanor soon put our fears to rest.


Day after day passed without any signs of labor. I was able to be present at a doctor's appointment with L. I was hoping he would have a crystal ball, or a magic wand to let us know when labor would start. Unfortunately he did not. We would have loved to do some sightseeing, but we were afraid to venture too far from L. We did spend a day in downtown Columbia, and were able to forget, for just a short while, our anxiety. We love old graveyards and found quite a few in the old churches...looking in the past helped us forget our present.


We also spent quite a bit of time with L and her family. We became even closer during this time. We were called to South Carolina early for this reason. In having these days with L before the birth, our bond and love for each other was cemented and made stronger. We also had the opportunity to form a bond with her extended family. The bonds of love were being woven and our families now are intricately tied to one another. I am not sure this would have happened so freely and easily without these days and moments. Looking back now I can see this and appreciate...it was very difficult to see in the moment, if not impossible.


In the moment my heart was breaking being separated from our sweet angel daughter Cassie. Our daily letters and cards graduated to little gifts. Daily we sent a package to her and daily these packages grew in size. Everywhere we went, we saw a reminder of her. These reminders were savored and purchased and sent. A shirt that said "love bug" on it brought tears to my eyes. This was our nickname for her. It was quickly purchased and sent off. I would hold a stuffed animal and wish I was holding her...another purchase, another package.


"Is my baby brother here yet Mommy?"
"Not yet, my love, not yet."
"I prayed last night Mommy and asked God when he was coming. He said soon. When is soon Mommy?"
"I don't know love, I don't know."


L and her mother knew of our anguish. Unfortunately there was nothing any could do....or was there? Isn't there an old wives tale that stated that Castor oil would bring on labor?


Apparently there was, according to L's mother and grandmother. Off Dave and I went looking for Castor oil. Voila, mission accomplished.


Castor oil. A noxious substance. Putrid smell and taste, or so I am told. Desperate times call for desperate measures. One look and whiff of the stuff and we could not force it down L....but her mother and grandmother could, and they did. Poor girl, she barely choked it down before it was coming back up. We felt horrible. We felt worse than horrible. We wanted to run out of that house and hide. Poor L was 40 weeks pregnant and violently ill from the Castor oil and no closer to labor than she was earlier in the day.


This was Saturday, February 12, 2000. We had been in South Carolina for exactly a week now and L was still pregnant, even after the Castor oil.


Maybe the Castor oil had a delayed reaction after all...the next day became very interesting....


to be continued.....

20 comments:

Tera said...

Thank you for giving my daily dose of happiness. I hope that lil guy is ready to come meet his mama and papa soon!!!

Baba's Blog .. Babies Are Special said...

Hi Alison, Thanks for your visit to my place .. I am so excited for you , as I am reading your adoption story.My sister is a Social Worker and works in an adoption agency.. She adopted three kids herself which they are all grown adults now..I will follow with you later..I hope everything goes well.. Hugs, Baba

Stella said...

You are so not fair! I'm one of those people who stays up until 3 in the morning to finish the book because the story is soo good! I would stay up all night to finish this story.....

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

OMG! Castor Oil!!! That is to much! That made me laugh!

Thanks for this story. I really love it.

ChrisB said...

Castor oil yuk!
I felt sure that she would be in labour in this week's instalment!

Jan said...

I have been lurking re: the adoption journey. I've been loving reading it, and thought I'd just say that. Thank you for sharing this personal story. I'll keep reading, you're in my Reader, that makes it easy.

Jennifer said...

Alright, I am done with this!! I am not checking back for two weeks and you better have gotten to the end, or else!! I'm gonna go watch "Juno" again because I know how that adoption story turns out!!

Sherryl said...

hurry hurry hurry..... you're driving us nuts....

lisa marie said...

I love cemeteries too. :) Just love to wander around in them getting lost in the past.

I tried castor oil with one of mine and went into labor the next day. :)

Alix said...

Nail biting stuff I am dying to see what happens next. More please and quickly!!

karisma said...

My goodness, my Grandma tried that one on me! I was not having it though! I have heard it does no more than give you a bad case of the runs! So ahem ...run I did! Who needs yucky oil?

Kelly said...

You used Castor oil??? OMG, L is one brave women. As are you, for going through all of this. Can't wait to hear more.

Kelly said...

You used Castor oil??? OMG, L is one brave women. As are you, for going through all of this. Can't wait to hear more.

Sandy said...

Great cliff-hanger ending!

Irene Latham said...

Castor oil is also good for getting rid of warts. Now think about that and imagine what it must do to the inside of the body??? So glad you at least got to visit an old Southern cemetery. Were there live oaks with Spanish moss? Not that you would be thinking about things like that... I seriously cannot imagine the limbo you were in during that week. To have no control over the situation and being so far from Cassie... waiting, waiting... excruciating!

Heather said...

Hi Allison,

I thought I"d left a comment, but I guess I didn't. I am loving reading this series! I can't wait to hear more.

-Heather

P.S. - thanks for your comment on my blog - it means a lot to me.

Chrys said...

I heard the effects of castor oil, indeed it does work but in the times that it does not work! It just leaves you with tremendous painful labor pains and no baby! I hope it worked for her!

bermudabluez said...

ARGH!!! You stop at just the right moment....looking SOOOO forward to the next installment!!

Debra w said...

Alison,

I am so, so sorry about the death of your dear friend. I am sure that you are in a lot of pain right now, but I also know that you will live your life honoring hers. It sounds like she had a wonderful sense of humor so please continue carrying on that spirit.

I am sorry that I didn't read your post sooner, but please know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. If you would like to talk, please don't hesitate to pop over and let me know. My heart is with you.

Love,
Deb

suchsimplepleasures said...

ugh...castor oil! i tried that! it was awful!!
xoxo