I was lost. Which way to go? How to get home? Which road to take on our Journey Towards Parenthood? Just walk, put one foot in front of the other.
I made it home that day, weary and hot. I was gone for hours, it felt like 5 minutes. Dave was home by then and we needed to do some soul searching. We could consider IVF but we would have to use a donor. Our chances would not improve, and it would cost more money. I didn't care...my dream was still alive in my heart. I still saw that little baby from my dreams. I was not ready to give up. We talked, we cried....and then Dave said something that changed my perspective.
"Our dogs are adopted and we love them and they are wonderful."
That sentence made me stop and realize that my dream can still come true. Why did those words make a difference? I don't know, for some reason it made perfect sense to me. That baby in my dreams is still there. She may not grow inside me, but she is already growing inside my heart. She may not BE a part of us, but she will BEcome a part of us. We made a huge and vital decision that day. Our child would have both of our DNA, or none of our DNA. That is a huge decision. Everyone has to choose their own path on this journey. Everyone has to choose the path that works for them. I was also adopted and I had a wonderful childhood. Adoption had been a great experience for me.
This is the path we are to take on our journey...Adoption. Yes, I was ready. I was ready to let go of the pregnancy, labor, breastfeeding. We were ready to become parents. Our hearts were open and ready to love and cherish a child. We were a unit, a working team towards one objective - Parenthood.
The next day I called an adoption attorney and we embarked on another rollercoaster ride.