this journey begins here
My heart stopped. I was paralyzed momentarily.
"I am 8 weeks pregnant....please call me...."
I called her. Her name was L and she lived in South Carolina. The other side of the country....the opposite coast from us. We talked for quite awhile, maybe an hour? I can't recall...what I do recall was the comfort and ease we had with each other. We clicked instantly.
The birthfather was aware of L's plan and was supportive of her decision. She was not ready to parent her baby...the timing was not right in her life. Abortion was out of the question for her. She was adopted by her stepfather when she was very young. Adoption seemed to be a perfect choice for her. Her mother supported her decision.
She found our website from one of the adoption sites we linked to. She liked our letter and loved the fact that we had a daughter. I think she fell in love with Cassie. Ironically she wanted her baby to go to a family who already had a child. Cassie's birthmother wanted her baby to go to a family who did not have children. Every birthmother was different.
I referred L to our adoption agency to commence the paperwork process. She also agreed to email us a picture of her. We hung up the phone and I sat in shock for a few moments staring at Dave. I couldn't believe it....did we finally have a match?
I relayed all the details to Dave. This sounded very promising. L appeared to be sincere. I liked her, I did not detect any red flags. This process had taught me to listen to my intuition. The voice inside my heart and soul that told me right from wrong. The voice that screamed in my head with every other woman who had contacted us the past few months. That voice was subdued this night...this felt right except for one thing. This one thing was huge, it was momentous and I could not quiet my voice from saying it over and over in my head. I told Dave...
"She is only 8 weeks pregnant. She has not felt the baby move yet. It is not real to her. She will change her mind when it becomes real to her."
How right I was...