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this journey begins here
My heart stopped. I was paralyzed momentarily.
"I am 8 weeks pregnant....please call me...."
I called her. Her name was L and she lived in South Carolina. The other side of the country....the opposite coast from us. We talked for quite awhile, maybe an hour? I can't recall...what I do recall was the comfort and ease we had with each other. We clicked instantly.
The birthfather was aware of L's plan and was supportive of her decision. She was not ready to parent her baby...the timing was not right in her life. Abortion was out of the question for her. She was adopted by her stepfather when she was very young. Adoption seemed to be a perfect choice for her. Her mother supported her decision.
She found our website from one of the adoption sites we linked to. She liked our letter and loved the fact that we had a daughter. I think she fell in love with Cassie. Ironically she wanted her baby to go to a family who already had a child. Cassie's birthmother wanted her baby to go to a family who did not have children. Every birthmother was different.
I referred L to our adoption agency to commence the paperwork process. She also agreed to email us a picture of her. We hung up the phone and I sat in shock for a few moments staring at Dave. I couldn't believe it....did we finally have a match?
I relayed all the details to Dave. This sounded very promising. L appeared to be sincere. I liked her, I did not detect any red flags. This process had taught me to listen to my intuition. The voice inside my heart and soul that told me right from wrong. The voice that screamed in my head with every other woman who had contacted us the past few months. That voice was subdued this night...this felt right except for one thing. This one thing was huge, it was momentous and I could not quiet my voice from saying it over and over in my head. I told Dave...
"She is only 8 weeks pregnant. She has not felt the baby move yet. It is not real to her. She will change her mind when it becomes real to her."
How right I was...
14 comments:
I love reading this story.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
It is so interesting to relive the roller coaster that led your wonderful family to Michael. It brings back a lot of memories, good and bad.
Love you
Sher
Your words give me shivers of emotion. I'll be back for the rest of the story.
having been away a week, I'm just catching up on your story. It was actually quite nice reading several installments at once. Now I'm impatient for more!
Oh God! How hard it had to be!! I can't even wait a few hours for something I really want. A few days is excruciating! Months?? And to have your hopes rise and fall, skyrocket and be crushed? You are stronger people than I!!!
I love you!!
Oh, those last lines made my heart twist. I need to read more, now!!
Wait?! That's it?! NO! Alison!!! No!! Please, write more!!! Did I mention that I'm not patient? You can't do this to me. You love me, remember? Please?!?!
I love you :(
I have to admit I had no idea how many people would find me through my mom's (Swampy's ) site! Thanks for wandering over. I can't wait to hear more of your story!!
Oh no the last line, cliff hanger territory! What happened? It's such an interesting story and you write it so beautifully, looking forward to the next instalment.
Sometimes it sucks to be older and wiser! My heart breaks when I read those last lines... so much uncertainty. I mean, how can one predict how one is going to feel? Life is funny that way. Keep it coming, my friend! xxoo
hanging on the edge of my seat here...
Oh my gosh! I can't believe how difficult this process must have been. Being pregnant and having a family was so "easy" for me. I ache for how difficult this must have been for you and the birth mothers. I am looking forward to hearing more.
wow!
looking so forward to the next chapter!!
how are you?
xoxo
I am on the edge of my seat!!
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