Subscribe

RSS Feed (xml)



Powered By

Skin Design:
Free Blogger Skins

Powered by Blogger

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Our Adoption Journey, epilogue




This series has been wonderful to write. I had no idea I had this in me until I started writing it and the words just flowed right out of me. We brought Cassie home that day and our whirlwind Journey of Parenthood began. We have not stopped since. Six months later, on a blustery, stormy December morning we went to court and finalized her adoption. It was a joyful day, a day we legally became a family.


Cassie's adoption was a very easy, simple adoption. The emotions I wrote about were real, the rollercoaster was hard to ride, but the adoption process itself was very smooth and uneventful. Four years after Cassie's adoption we were to embark upon another adoption journey and we would soon find out how easy we had it with Cassie's. This next journey would test our limits of faith, trust, and emotional strength. I will write about it soon.


We did send A a long letter and many pictures when Cassie was six months old. She loved them and sent us a beautiful letter that she had written to us on the day Cassie was born. She also wrote one to Cassie. I kept these in a safe place, waiting the right moment to share them with Cassie. That moment came last year when out of Cassie's mouth I heard "If I am so special, how come A gave me away?" I knew this moment would come, but I was not prepared to feel the sharp pain in my heart. I felt for her and her preteen angst. My words of reassurance meant nothing to her. I gave her A's letter to read. Her words were my words but at that moment they were much more powerful to Cassie than mine were. Cassie read that letter, and understood the powerful love A felt for her, and the powerful love and trust A felt for us. It was a beautiful moment.


Throughout the years, the lines of communication remained open. I sent letters and pictures every 6 months. In each letter I reminded A that she was welcome for a visit anytime. She did visit when Cassie was 5 and our new son was 6 months old. Six months ago Cassie expressed the desire to meet with A again. She sent an email to A's mom requesting a visit. She was happy to comply. Unfortunately A was unable to meet us for lunch last October, she was pregnant and scheduled for a C-section the following day. We did meet Cassie's Birth Grandmother for lunch and had a wonderful visit. The following day A gave birth to another baby girl. I am happy to say she is parenting this angel and is very happy and settled in her life.


This weekend A came to our house for a wonderful visit. Cassie was able to meet her little sister for the first time. We had a great visit, felt like we had just seen her yesterday. Our bond is very strong. When they left, Cassie looked at me and said "Thank you Mommy". The tears flowed...how I love this little girl.


Open adoption is a beautiful process. It is a process filled with love, trust, joy, sadness, despair, euphoria, and every emotion in between. Open adoption binds two families together with a bond that can never be broken. Thirteen years ago A and her family were strangers to us. Now they are a part of us, a part of our family. I hold A in the highest regard. I have so much respect and love for her. She is an angel on earth. Through her, our dreams came true, we became a family.


This post has gotten long...this was not my intention. I will put pictures on the next post. Cassie through the years.....

18 comments:

amanda said...

I've loved reading this story! :)

Jeni said...

This has been a beautiful series of posts to read, to follow you and your husband through the entire process of adoption of your daughter. Thank you for being so open, for writing so beautifully about ALL the emotions that came into play for you and your husband as well as interpreting what probably were some really difficult things for "A" at the time, and even today. Just an excellent series of posts to read about and you should be commended for putting this up here -wonderful series of lessons about so many things, all rolled into a bundle that came your way one day and became the daughter you love and appreciate today and everyday.

TheVasquez3 said...

although we have discussed adoption ourselves we have never considered an open adoption. its nice to read a story where it worked out so well, you are truly blessed!

ChrisB said...

I have so enjoyed reading your wonderful story with a happy ending. Open adoption, when it works, like it has for you is so rewarding for both families. I look forward to reading your next journey which from what you have said did not run as smoothly!

Kathryn said...

Tears are just pouring out of my eyes. This is such an inspirational story. You are an amazing mom.

Alix said...

That was so beautiful. I'm so glad that everything worked so well for you all.

Irene Latham said...

Alison, it must be a lifelong process to reconcile that idea that you were loved so very much that your birthmom chose to give you a better life, yet to know that, yes, your birthmom LEFT. I think the way you have handled this with Cassie is the best way possible. How tough that must be sometimes to watch her struggle with that! Yet you have remained open and accepting of the whole big picture and approach it with nothing but love. What a powerful gift you are giving your children. I am so happy you've chosen to write about it. And as for the 2000 word limit on the Cup of Comfort entry, break the story into 3 parts and send in all three entries! Each piece is so gorgeous -- some stories are best that leave 'em wondering. I think you can do it. I sure hope you'll try. xxoo

Chrys said...

I loved reading your beautiful adoption story from the first word to the very last. I look forward to your next story.

FUN-ky Mama said...

Thanks for the comment. SUSHI?! aarrghh!
Your adoption journey has been very enjoyable to read, beautiful and touching. =)

Debra w said...

Alison,

I agree with Irene, break the story into three parts! Each portion has a gift that deserves to be shared with others.

I am so glad that I came to know you through our blogs, and that you chose to share this journey. It has always been my opinion that it doesn't really matter HOW someone becomes a parent, but what they do with that privilege once they receive it!

Hugs,
Deb

Mike@disfordad.com said...

Unlike your situation, my sister and her husband kept my niece's history a secret (never a good idea). Our whole family had to unwillingly lie to our niece for 23 years about why she looked different from the rest of the family. I'm glad it's over!
Kudos to you and your husband for doing it right. I'm sure Cassie loves you even more because of your honesty.
Beautiful post.

lisa marie said...

You bring tears to my eyes. I am a child of divorce. I met my dad when I was 18 and always had to sneak to see him. My mom would never have been able to handle that if I had been adopted. You are wonderful!

Laura McIntyre said...

Again i have tears, it sure sounds like an amazing experince. A sounds like a wonderful person who truly knew what she was doing in giving you Cassie

Beccy said...

I was wondering if there would be a series two, looking forward to it.

You wrote this series so beautifully and passionately and it has been a pleasure to read.

livin with me said...

This has been an amazing series. Every single post has left me with tears streaming down my face. Thank you for sharing. I can't wait to read the next one.

Karmyn R said...

Oh WOW! I need the kleenex now. I finally had the time to sit down and read the complete series through. Just amazing and how absolutely wonderful. Cassie is such a lucky girl to have you - and to have a birth mother with enough wisdom to know she was doing the right thing.

I am on to read the next story!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I read your second adoption story as you posted it, but just tonight read the first one.
I kept it together until this epilogue, then I lost it. Thank goodness I'm in a quiet corner at work! lol
Beautiful, touching stories, and so well-written. You are all so blessed to have each other!
xoxo

Yaya said...

Thank you for sharing your story....*tears*....and (((Hugs)))