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Monday, February 11, 2008

Life Lived, No Regrets

Trials and Tribulations of Life. These have been on my mind lately. I have gone through many in my life. I wouldn't change a thing. If I had the power to go back in time and change aspects of my life, I wouldn't change anything. Why? I have gone through some very painful moments. I have experienced the lowests of lows and the highest of highs...and I would do it all again. Why?


Growth comes through pain. Emotional growth, spiritual growth, and sometimes Physical growth. Every time I was at my lowest, I came out the other side a better person....I learned I could make it. I learned I could rely on myself, I learned how to love myself, I learned how to love God.


During my younger days I was very destructive to my body and my soul. I chose to self medicate myself in many different ways. I was on a self destructive path. I cringe inside when I think of those days....but, I wouldn't change them. I managed to come out the other side...in cleaning up my body, I cleaned up my soul as well. I am able to empathise with people who are struggling, fighting the demons I fought. I found a relationship with myself that I never thought was possible. I learned how to love myself for who I am. I have a self confidence I never thought I would have.


Our struggle with infertility and our quest to adopt our children was a very difficult time in our marriage. There were times when our marriage was teetering on the edge. I am glad we had these struggles. Our marriage is solid now. Our struggles brought us closer. We share a bond that was made stronger through our struggles. My husband is my best friend. We can talk for hours and he still makes me laugh. Would we be this close if our road was straight? Did all the curves bring us closer? I don't know....what I do know is that we have never taken our children for granted. We wanted to be parents, we chose to become parents, we sought out our children and in that quest our marriage solidified.


I have a dear friend who is losing her battle with cancer right now. She is an amazing woman, a truly special soul. I feel honored to call her friend and have her in my life. She has taught me so much. Her strength and her positive outlook on life amazes me. She knows her battle is coming to an end and she is still living her life to the fullest, enjoying the company of her family and friends. She told me a few months ago - "I am making memories'". She is making beautiful memories for everyone around her. Watching her fade and knowing I am going to lose her soon is heartrenching. Would I go back in time and not choose her for a friend knowing this? Absolutely not....I have gained so much in this friendship. Yes it is painful now, yes my heart is breaking....but, yes...I have gained. I am able to look at life and learn to live it to the fullest. I have learned to make memories with my children. I have learned to love and be loved by my friends. I have learned how to be a friend. I have also learned that my friend has been given a gift. She knows her end is near and she is able to say what she wants to say, do what she wants to do, leave no stone unturned. This is a gift, we don't always get this.


Enjoy your life. Don't regret your past. Experience it. Live it. Learn from it. Grow emotionally and spiritually. Don't leave any stone unturned. Tell your family you love them daily.


Live your life with no regrets.

25 comments:

FUN-ky Mama said...

What a lovely post. This is something I work hard on - not regretting things that happened in the past. I had a really bad first marriage, but if that's what it took to get me here, then I'm ok with that. Because 'here' is a very, very good place for me.

ChrisB said...

Beautifully written post. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It is so hard to watch people we love loose the battle for life but she sounds an amazing lady and you will always have all the happy memories.

Around The Funny Farm said...

"Enjoy your life. Don't regret your past. Experience it. Live it. Learn from it. Grow emotionally and spiritually. Don't leave any stone unturned. Tell your family you love them daily."

I so GOT this post. Thank you from giving us all food for thought. I am adoring your blog!
:-) Beth

Jenni said...

Thank you for this. I needed to hear it.

Heather said...

I don't know what to say. I was definitely moved by this. Thank you for reminding us and sharing this with us.

Chrys said...

I love the insight you have. I agree with every word. I too, would not change my past or mistakes. What an amazing friend. She continues to make beautiful memories and her light will still shine on even after her star has burned. I had a friend who passed away rather quickly. There were regrets. I thought she would pull through. I didnt make it to the hospital in one week and then she was gone. I missed my opportunity for goodbye. It will never happen again. I have a rather tathered wreath, made by her hand hanging in my downstairs bathroom as a reminder of her and how to cherish friendships. To tell others how much they truly mean to me.

lisa marie said...

I'm so sorry for your friend. It sounds like she's a magnificent woman!

Kelly said...

I just want to come over to your house, hug you, and then sit for hours and talk. I agree with you, soulmates.

I am so thankful that we found each other because you are a kindered spirit and someone that I just know is going to be a dear friend.

So much more I want to say, but I have tears in my eyes.

I'm glad you have come to love yourself. No regrets, my dear.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

That was lovely and so well-put. Regret is useless. The past can't be changed, only learned from.

I'm so sorry about your friend. I know how hard that is.

KellyJean said...

This is a beautiful post! I will be praying for you and for your friend.

jason said...

hey, here is the site i was talking about where i made the extra cash......

this site ..

Fiona said...

Wise words Alison, well done for saying them. Thank you for visiting our place and sorry its taken so long to reply. Yogi has Lymphoma cancer of the lymph nodes. You are right. That's what I try to do.

suchsimplepleasures said...

i'm so so sorry about your friend. this post...it was so touching! so true, to live each day with no regrets because, you never know what the next day is going to bring!! live is precarious. that is why i make sure, on a daily basis, to let my family and friends know what it is they mean to me!!
i heart you!
xoxo

Sauntering Soul said...

Such beautiful words and a beautiful message for you to share. I'm so sorry about your friend. It sounds like she's leaving her footprints on everyone who loves her.

Debra w said...

Alison, dear heart,

This is so beautifully written and so heartfelt. We all have things in our past that we regret, but if we can learn from those experiences, then the time was not wasted.

I am so sorry that your friend is on the verge of facing another, less understood part of her soul's journey. I believe with all of my heart, that the energy within our spirits and within our souls, never, ever dies. You will carry some of your dear friend's energy with you, for the rest of your life. In turn, the people whom you are important to, and who you touch, will continue to carry your energy with them throughout their entire lives. The chain never dies.

A life well lived cannot contain any regrets, as we do not know exactly which small change would create enormous differences in how our lives might have turned out.

Healing hugs and love,
Deb

Tera said...

What a beautiful post. I wish you strength to overcome another trial in your book of life.

Manners & Moxie said...

I've been praying so much lately about finding my way... well, God's way that is. I have been willful in not always seeking out God's will. I know the very few areas in my life that I am discontent stem from that.

I feel myself really moved by what you've written here. I feel there is a reason I happened across your this entry today as opposed to Monday when you wrote it. I feel I would have missed the message then but today, I feel it in my core.

I am very glad to have you as a new friend. Thank you for writing from your heart and touching mine.

Blue Momma said...

What a great post! You were speaking words I could speak myself. I too have a friend who is fighting what is ending up a losing battle with cancer. However, she is in MA and I'm in AL. She's never even seen Punkin, though she sends him a Christmas ornament each year. I've got to figure out a way to get up there for a visit.

Again, great post girl. I bet your readership doubles after this one.

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

That is such a beautiful post. Your friend must be an amazing woman to be facing what she is but to still go on living life for the moment. It would be so easy to slip into stupor and self-misery in that situation and she is making her days a happy time for all around her. What strength she has.

And you too.

Sherryl said...

Hey cuz! You have such a way with words. It touches the heart. I wish I had the ability to post what is in my head and heart. You touched on so much of how I feel. There are so many choices in life. We all go down the path that we choose and sometimes the consequences of those choices come to haunt us. All we can do is move forward one foot in front of the other. I am so sorry to hear about your friend, but, it sounds like they are truly making memories that you will cherish forever.

Kelli said...

Great post, very moving and very true!

Irene Latham said...

Hi Alison - it's the whole "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" thing. Also the "bless the broken road (that led me straight to you)" sentiment. These are things I totally believe in. And cancer sucks. It just does. My mother-in-law has liver cancer. We just keep telling ourselves how lucky we are to have this time to tell her over and over how much we love her and how she has impacted our lives. It's still tough though. Some days I just sit in her driveway and cry. Then I move on. Because what else is there to do?
Thank you for this lovely post. I am so happy to know you. xxoo

Beccy said...

I am so sorry to read about your friend, 'making memories', she sounds like a real inspiration.

Lisa said...

Lovely post. Life really is too, too short! Glad you're soaking it all in!

forgetfulone said...

This is such a good post. I have to read it again.