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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Our adoption journey, Part 6

please follow these links to read previous sections - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Two weeks after our hearts were broken. Two weeks after we cried out to God for guidance. Two weeks after we cried on each other's shoulders....our phone rang. This time it was our Agency calling. Another birthmother has chosen us and wants to meet with us. Her name is A and she lives 45 minutes away from us. She has narrowed her search to two families and she would like to meet with them in person to finalize her choice.

Oh My God!! Can this be real? Two weeks ago we were preparing ourselves for the long journey. Could it really be so short?

We call her and agree to meet her the upcoming weekend at her house. She is also 17 years old and lives with her parents. The rollercoaster ride is in full swing now. We have gone from the depths of despair to the highest of highs. We somehow make it through the week and before we know it Saturday rolls around.

We wake up Saturday morning nervous, anxious, excited. We leave early because we don't want to be late!! In reality, we hardly slept a wink and sitting around the house waiting to leave was too painful for our mental state!! We get to A's town early, of course, so we stop at car wash. This sounds crazy but we were kind of crazy. We were running on adrenaline and emotions. We wanted everything to be "perfect" and our car was dirty!! It had to washed right then, right there!!

Our car is now officially clean..we are ready to meet A, off we go in our clean sparkling car. Off we go to meet the young woman who is carrying a baby we want more than anything to be ours.
We know we are in the "semi-finals" here and we are "competing" against the unknown. We don't know anything about the "other couple". Situations like this force you to delve deep into your psyche. How should we act? What is she looking for? What to they have that we don't? These are the questions we asked each other that morning.

We really had no choice but to be ourselves. Pretending to be something we were not was not an option. A chose our letter for a reason. In our letter we were honest and real. Today we would also be honest and real.
We pull up in front of her house, take a deep breath, squeeze each other's hands, and go up to the front door.

A answers the door and bless her heart...she is as nervous and scared as us. What makes it worse for her is that she is home alone. Her mom was late getting home from an appointment and we were a few minutes early. She didn't have anyone to lean on, we had each other. I immediately felt a wave of peace come over me. I relaxed. Her mom came home within 10 minutes and by then I was completely calm and relaxed, all was well.

Our visit was wonderful. We talked. We laughed. She had many questions for us, we even had a few for her. I felt that we connected...I hoped she felt the same way. We stayed for over 3 hours. When we left, we hugged. It felt right....did it feel right for her also?

Apparently the other couple wasn't able to meet until the following week. We would have to wait....again...wait...the interminable waiting.....I am not patient!!

The questions that go through our heads while waiting. The conversations Dave and I have. The short tempers we show each other because our nerves are frayed. The hugs of reassurance. The prayers sent out for guidance. The supportive conversations from friends and family members. These are the things that see us through..that help us survive the wait.
One week goes by...nothing.

The phone rings, our heart stops only to start again when it isn't The Call.
Another week goes by....nothing.

We should know by now. A should have decided by now. Does our phone work? We better check it...yes there is a dial tone. No news is good news, right? Maybe not. Maybe no news is bad news.

How much longer??

And then, when we think we have reached the breaking point, when our nerves are frayed and our tempers are short....

The phone rings and it is The Call.

14 comments:

Chrys said...

Ahhh, screaming here! My heart is pounding and then it stops! Don't do this too me, this is the gooooood paart!!! come on come on, two posts in one day!!! purdy pullleeze!

Debra w said...

Oh Alison,

My heart just skipped a beat! I know that this story has a happy ending, but is this baby YOUR baby?

I am grateful to know that you ended up with the children which you so rightly deserve! I just know that you are a wonderful mommy. Your children are so lucky to have you.

Big hugs,
Debbie

Beccy said...

Even though I know your journey ends at some point with children you have me on the edge of my seat, can't wait for the next installment.

Laura McIntyre said...

I have just came by your blog and read through these past posts, what an amazing story. Excited about the rest

Irene Latham said...

This gives me chills! We are so funny sometimes.. I love that you thought to clean your car before meeting A. That is such a HUMAN thing to do. :) Can't wait for the next installment... how the waiting for that phone call must have worn you out! Your whole life hanging in the balance...

ChrisB said...

Oh the agony of waiting for that call ~just like us waiting for the next installment!

nikki said...

I'm on pins and needles! MORE!!!

suchsimplepleasures said...

sitting on the edge of my couch here!!
xoxo

Cynthia said...

I give you permission to write the whole rest of teh story inone sitting.

Tonight!

Cynthia said...

I obviously did not read that last comment before I sent it.

I am usually very anti typo.

Jo Beaufoix said...

I feel so nervous for you. It must have been so scary and exciting and emotional when that call came. I can't wait to read more.

And thanks so much for the ad. Right back at you. :D

Alix said...

Oh my gosh I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to know the out come of the call.

Andrya said...

I'm not patient eiter. I love you.

NariceatL4 said...

I don't know if you'll find this comment, but I'm so enthralled by your journey! What great writing, what heartbreak and excitement--I hate having to stop and finish cooking dinner!

What will happen next??

I'm Narice, and have participated in a few Fun Mondays with you in the past. Thanks for sharing!