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Friday, July 11, 2008

Friday Funny

Disclaimer: I did not write this, but I loved it and had to share.

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tearswith their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walkingtwenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,there was no way in hell I was going to laya bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty,I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something,we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter ...with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed! Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ..imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

For everyone who was interested in the moth food from the post is the recipe, per my 8 year old son:
"Take overripe fruit and smash it all up. Put lots of sugar and some fruit juice in it and mix it all together."
I have not seen any moths eating it yet, just a couple of yellow jackets.....


Karmyn R said...

I've seen that before and it is good. I had to giggle over the Saturday morning cartoons AND recording music off the radio - good times! heh heh

Mother Goose said...

so true so true and so funny!

storyteller said...

Yup … definitely funny and a little sad somehow for those of us who were born in the 1940s before televisions existed and more moms stayed home than joined the work force. Thanks for sharing.
Hugs and blessings,

Kim said...

Preach it, Sista! Can I get an Amen!?

Heather said...

Aaah, yes, 1980 was a rough time!

Alison, I'll get you the recipe next week. I have the craziest weekend of baking for my mother-in-law's 60th birthday party AND taking my kids to Ohio for camp at my parents house. So, time is of the essence!

I'm jealous you have cherry trees in your front yard!

ChrisB said...

I haven't seen this before it's great and do you know what the girls gave me for my 60th birthday ~ an ipod~ that was nearly 5 yrs ago ~ now how the hell do you download music I still haven't learned!!! :)

karisma said...

LOL! My daughter just told me to "SHUTUP!" I was giggling too loud and remembering at the same time! He he! Too funny! She is trying to watch one of the fifty million channels and does not want to know how hard we did it in the eighties!!! And we thought we were so advanced! HA HA!

"Mum! Just Shut up! Im trying to watch TV here!" Geez I feel like I have to go to my room or something! Whats the point of these laptops anyway?

Jan said...

So true, and if they were in the '50's, they'd die.