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Saturday, July 19, 2008

Butt Paste

This was one of my birthday presents on my 40th birthday, as mentioned in this post. I don't think it is a typical or usual birthday present for a newly christened 40 year old, but I could be mistaken. When I think of typical, mature birthday gifts other items usually come to mind, like Depends, Geritol, Viagra, Urine incontinence pills, anti aging creams....but not Butt Paste. Obviously there is a story behind this gift, so lovingly given to me by my husband.

As you know by now, we spend my birthday in the forest every year, camping. This particular year before we left for said camping trip, we were in our local Discount Superstore purchasing essential items for our trip. As we were trekking through the store with our cart fully loaded, we ended up in the baby department. I have absolutely no idea why since our youngest was 6 years old at the time and was fully potty trained by then, thank God!! As we were fumbling around trying to see over our fully loaded cart to exit the baby department, I spotted Butt Paste on the shelf. I had never seen it before and I fell into a spastic fit of laughter. I picked up the box and said to my husband, in between snorting with laughter, "Here honey, just what you need - some Butt Paste". Unbeknownst to me, we were surrounded by other patrons and I have never been known to be discreet, i.e. quiet. All the ladies around us began chuckling to themselves and I was in a full fit of laughter, accompanied with snorts.

My husband....I don't think he found the humor in the situation that I did. Our children, on the other hand, were very amused, especially our 6 year old son. Of course, to a boy, anything that has to do with butts is extremely funny. Consequently, the remainder of our shopping trip in the Discount Superstore was interrupted with fits of laughter whenever one of us mentioned Butt Paste.

We eventually finished our shopping and went home to pack. As is typical in our house, we forgot to purchase an essential item for our trip. Dave took the kids to purchase this item so I could stay home and finish packing. Apparently they thought it would be hysterical to also purchase the Butt Paste for me for my birthday. Surprisingly enough, they kept their secret, even our son, who never keeps secrets!! I had no idea until the morning of my birthday when I opened presents. I am sure my hoot of laughter woke the entire campground.

That box of Butt Paste now resides in our medicine cabinet....I cannot throw it away. Everytime I look at it, I laugh.


Debra W said...


I adore your silly sense of humor! I wouldn't throw it away either!


Just Courtney said...

I buy Butt Paste for every baby shower I go to. It is a MUST have for infants. I laughed hysterically the first time I saw it too, but man the stuff is wonderful!

ChrisB said...

I knew there must be a fun story behind that present.
This would definitely appeal to my 7yr old grandson's sense of humour at the moment!

Diaper-Rash-Dave said...

I've become a 'diaper rash expert' in recent months, had to, I really really recommend Butt Paste, it's brilliant :)

Slick said...

That just made me crack up. If Trish would've said that outloud, I probably would've been embarrassed.


I'd buy a whole case to send to my buddies cause I have NEVER seen that stuff down here!

Stella said...

Too funny!

I do that with Depends for my husband...he finds it less than funny! I, on the other hand, laugh my tush off!

lisaschaos said...

Dang you just ruined my image of you chasing deer and trying to smear butt paste below tails to keep them comfy. :(

Hilarious! Did you see the post when I stumbled on monkey butt powder or some such rot?

lisaschaos said...

Here, you gotta see it. :)

Next they'll be buying it for you. :) Or maybe you can get some for your son.

Beth said...

I was in a Tractor Supply Store with my son a few months ago. While standing in line, I saw MONKEY BUTT POWDER. Immediately, I grabbed a bottle, held it up, and said loudly, "ARE YOU OUT? Do you NEED MORE?!" He looks at me like I am CRAZY.. and then made the FATAL MISTAKE... and asked.. "What is it?"

I replied, with a grin..


I've never seen the stuff BEFORE..but it was a HILARIOUS MOMENT!

Karen Deborah said...

It's great to give away at Christmas in the Santa surprises, that and a nose hair clipper,...
found you from the bean.

Becky said...

So, too funny!!! I too will hit the Big 4-0 this fall! Wah!!
I did love Butt Paste for my babies booties!!!

Irene Latham said...

You know what I think? A family that laughs together stays together. What a great memory! Thanks for sharing it. xxoo

Mother Goose said...

too funny too funny! I linked your story to my story called monkey butt

Butt Paste Fan said...

Soooo funny! We love Butt Paste here in the UK too :)

Gary Scott (near London)