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Thursday, May 29, 2008

Tumultuous week, Ups and Downs

Well this past week is definitely one I could have done without!! Remember The Day My Karma Left Me when I had my annual Squish and Flatten? The saga did not end there.

I came home from work last Wednesday and I had a letter from the mammogram people. They found something suspicious and needed me to come in for another picture and if needed an ultrasound of the boob in question. I do believe my heart stopped for an instant as I read the letter. Of course I instantly thought the worst, remember I lost a very dear friend to breast cancer recently. I missed her greatly that day, I wanted to call her. I picked up the phone and then remembered that she was gone.....what a horrible feeling.

I called the mammogram people immediately and scheduled my second photo session for the following day. They did close up shots this time. The technician showed me my first pictures and I must admit, I did not know my boobs were so photogenic!! The radiologist had circled 5 areas of concern.....5 areas!!! I think my heart missed a beat again.

After taking and developing my close up shots, she told me that I needed to make an ultrasound appointment. I could not believe this was happening. I called the ultrasound people immediately and the soonest they could schedule was me was for June 5. That was 2 weeks away...I can imagine a complete disaster in 2 weeks, I could write my will and plan my funeral. Why is it that we always imagine the worst, and plan for it?? I did not think the best and plan a party to celebrate...odd how the human mind works.

When I got home that day, shell shocked to be sure, I had a phone message from my doctor's office. They needed to schedule an appointment to review the mammogram and ultrasound results. Unfortunately my doctor will be on vacation the first 2 weeks of June (of course) and they could not schedule me until June 21. A month away...I might die by then!!! I said to the receptionist - "That is an awful long time to have wait to find out if you have cancer". She was very quiet on phone, but I think I put it in perspective. Sometimes we forget that a human is attached to every appointment slot, not just a name. Of course it wasn't her fault, and she could not do anything about the situation...she is actually quite nice and very accommodating. I was just very frustrated, and scared.

How can I wait this long? I have no choice. I must be patient, but I can also be persistent. I called the ultrasound people every morning and asked if they had any opening for that day...and I hit the jackpot....they squeezed me in!!!

The ultrasound technician told me that my close up shots did not show anything abnormal...Huh?? That did not make any sense to me...the only thing I could think of is that they missed the area in question, I am pretty well endowed!! We did the ultrasound and she immediately spotted a suspicious area and took lots of photos of it. She then told me she was going to consult with the Radiologist and that he might come in and look at the screen. She returns in 5 minutes and informs me that he said it "appears to be cystic in nature" and to return in 6 months for another ultrasound. She also told me to do my exams and check for changes. Now, mind you, I cannot feel what she found. It must be very deep, but I guess if I do start feeling it I will start freaking out a bit!!

So that is that!! I had breast cancer (in my mind) and now I don't....if only it was that easy in reality!!! I could have done without this roller coaster ride!!


karisma said...

Oh you poor baby! If ever you feel so scared again, email me and rant if you like. Its horrible to feel alone and scared. Im sure you will be fine. Try not to stress, this can bring on unwanted illness. Im sending a little healing your way today and wishing you well.

If you have time watch my Ammah post again, she will make you fell better. Hugs.


Pamela said...

sounds similar to what happened to me a few years ago. I ended up having a stereotactic biopsy. I was scared!

Someone in the office where I had the mamogram - FORGOT TO SEND my "stuff" to the city 60 miles away where I had to go for the biopsy. She was so nonchalant - some people just don't get it.

Tera said...

That is truly scary. and me, I woulda had my funeral planned too...right down to who would cry and what would happen thereafter ;-) Anyway, I am glad you are okay and hope you don't stress yourself out by searching for lumps and let it be on your every waking hour. Let's take a ride on the boats circling the lake next time, shall we, and leave the rollercoaster to the young Ășns!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I'm so glad it ended on an 'up'! I can only imagine how frightening that was for you.

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

Oh Alison....that is so scary. I'm so glad everything is OK.

Stella said...

I'm so sorry you have had to deal with this! I, too, tend to think the worst and worry about everything!
You definitely put it in perspective by saying "that's an awfully long time to wait to find out if you have cancer". I've have three or four cancer scares and I have this tendency to sit there and look at people in anger and think to myself, "don't you realize I could have cancer?"
It's a scary place to be and you are forever there no matter how much they tell you you're ok.

I am glad you're ok! I'm sorry you've had to go through it!!

Sandy said...

I am so glad that it all turned out well!

It's amazing how we always prepare for the worst. I blame it all on Hattie McDaniel in Gone With the Wind - I don't remember the exact quote but it was something about getting ready for the worst and then just getting on with life.

Now, plan a party.

Kim said...

So thankful the ultrasound came back negative. My mom when through something like this a few years back...all the way through a biopsy - while I was in Brazil. She had no one with her. : (

ChrisB said...

I think that is everyone's worst nightmare, that waiting must have been terrible. Good job you were persistent and they managed to fit you in early.

Thank goodness everything turned out OK.

Jenn And The City said...

Ugh! That's awful. And I keep putting off my mammogram. Promise I'll schedule it Monday first thing!

My brother had a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. Lovely dogs.


Irene Latham said...

Bless your heart! I have often used the trick of "if I've thought of it, then it can't possibly happen." So I'll tick off all the awful possibilities (like when someone is late, car accident, etc..) then I feel like I'm safe from those things because I've already imagined them and aren't the worst things the ones that take us by surprise?? Of course I have a friend who says thinking of the bad things INVITES them into your life... nope, I am not buying that one! I guess we all live in some sort of denial... but don't we have to?? Glad you are okay. xxoo

Heather said...

What a terrible scare! I'm always amazed at how medical people can tell you to come in, but we can't get you in for weeks - frightening.

I'm so glad everything is okay.

Coffee Bean said...

Oh my! How stressful! I've got the script to go for a mammogram with ultra sound... it has been sitting on my bedstand for two months. Yeah, you read that right. Ugh. I better go this week. I went for an annual check up when I was 28 and they found a mass in my left breast that I was unaware of... that led to 5 weeks of hell before I had surgery (we had an HMO at the time so everything actually went pretty fast for that realm). It was actually three masses and they were benign. In my early thirties I had another scare that turned out to be nothing... so I avoid. But it has been awhile...

Jan said...

I just got back in town, so I'm late in commenting. What a story! Unfortunately, I've heard similar tales, too many times. I don't know where these people's hearts are.