Reflections

As I sit here feeling the need to write my mind wanders.....what do I need to write about? I can't find an answer so I start typing and hope the words will come.





Today I celebrated my birthday and Father's Day with my parents. We had a lovely dinner, but it was quiet. I come from a family of 5 children, with me being the only girl. Dinners at my parents' house is usually far from quiet....today it was quiet. There has been a divide in the family. What started out as a stupid and meaningless misunderstanding has turned into a large and gaping hole. A hole that will not be easily filled. Years of misunderstandings, hurtful words, and circumstances that have gotten out of control have made this hole deep and filled with hurt and anger. My parents are suffering. I hurt for them, but I cannot fill the hole by myself. I can pick up my shovel and start digging, but it is too overwhelming for me....I put my shovel down. Today was a quiet day...it was a good day, just quiet. The thought went through my mind, "this is what it feels like to be an only child". I felt sad. These feelings are brought on by only one brother and his wife....how can 2 people hurt so many, divide an entire family. It baffles my mind. I feel lucky to have 3 other brothers and a wonderful sister in law, whom I call Sister. I need to concentrate on the positives and spend less time dwelling on the negatives.





My birthday is Monday...I will turn 42. When my mom was 42 she was old....funny...I am not that old! What have I accomplished in my 42 years on this earth? My first response is nothing...but that is not true. I am a mom, a wife....I have many accomplishments. Each day is an accomplishment...sometimes just getting through the day is an accomplishment. My daughter is 13 and is on cusp of her teen age years...years of tremendous growth. I am very proud of her, she is a wonderful young lady. We have parented her well, of course we have made mistakes, we are not perfect. Our son is 8 and is a very sweet natured little boy. I am very proud of him. They are products of their environment. We have created a loving and nurturing home for them and it shows in their soul, their essence. They have peace in their life, we have given them a gift....what an accomplishment as a parent.




I have been married to Dave for 20 years. That in and of itself is an accomplishment. I love him more today than I did 25 years ago, when we first met. Our marriage has seen its ups and downs, but it is stronger now than it ever has been, and grows stronger every day. I was asked the following question recently - "do you still like him?" I could honestly answer that question - "yes, more than ever". In today's narcissistic society marriages have adapted an "easy come, easy go" reputation. Compromising, letting go, altruism, forgiving and forgetting, sharing, and loving another person are all traits of a strong marriage...and are all wonderful accomplishments.





So, yes, I have many accomplishments in my 42 years. Important ones, ones that matter. I can appreciate nature's beauty, take great pleasure in watching bees at work, a sunset, the birds' music. I can enjoy a child's laugh, watch a child grow in love and flourish. I can appreciate my mother's cooking, my father's advice and love. I can look at my husband and not imagine life without him. I can look at my children and see the future and know they will make a difference. I may not live in a huge house, or have a huge bank account. My car is 7 years old, but it runs. My house needs a lot of work, but it is a home filled with love.....and that is my greatest accomplishment and what I am most proud of.





As I look back on today I need to remember my accomplishments. I see my family divide as a failure on my part. This is not true. I am only one person. I am not perfect, I make mistakes, I am human. I have made my amends for my mistakes, I have filled in my part of the hole...I cannot fill it alone. I put down my shovel and now I need to remember my accomplishments. The hole will have to be filled by others, it is now out of my control.

Friday Funny

Enjoy and have a great Friday!!!

Bullet Points from my Day

Just in case you are bored and looking for some excitement, I thought I would share my day with you!! You can thank me later!!

Today was my last day to work for a while!! Next week we will be camping in the Redwoods and celebrating my 42nd birthday....which is Monday, by the way....plenty of time for you to go shopping and mail me my gift!! I will be spending the next 4 days preparing for camping - getting out all of our gear, taking inventories, washing stuff, making lists, shopping, preparing foods, packing - work....a lot of work....just so we can spend a week sleeping in a tent, getting dirty, cooking outside, doing dishes outside, walking to the potty room...pure heaven to me..I can't wait to be in nature with no electronical distractions....just the family and the fun we will have!!

I have found a dog trainer who will work with us and Baron so he can pass his Canine Good Citizenship test and work towards becoming a Therapy/Companion dog!!! I am very excited and can't wait to start the process. The whole family, well maybe not my husband, will be involved in the process. I think this will be great for Baron and the kids. I am not sure which direction we will take with this...hopefully the trainer will have some ideas when she gets to know him better!!

And last, but definitely not least.....I submitted Our Adoption Journey, see links on sidebar on the right, for publication to numerous places and today I heard back from one. They are interested and want to publish it in their magazine!!! I am so excited....an editor will be in contact with me soon to begin the process!! Yea!!

Well, I guess I better go and cook dinner now....have a great day!!

Who is His Daddy??

We went to a local dog show last Saturday. Our handsome boy Baron's sisters were showing. This was their first reunion since we brought Baron home a year ago...the puppies just turned 1 last month. We were all so surprised by how different Baron is from his sisters. When we brought him home they all looked identical. Now look at them.
Not only is Baron a different color now, his legs are longer, he is leaner, and his head is completely different.
Not that we care at all...after all Baron is now a eunuch, and proud of it, so he will never be found in the show ring! My consensus is that Baron's daddy was the mailman's dog, or milkman's dog...something like that!! And, to be perfectly honest with you....I think Baron is much more handsome than his sisters....look at that face....he is just happy to be!! And the girls...well you know...they don't call them bitches for nothing!!!





BTW...they are not labradoodles, or chocolate labs, or poodle lab mixes (can you imagine??)...they are Chesapeake Bay Retrievers.

Fun Monday

Our most excellent hostess this week is the lovely Molly, who is returning a white robin, or so I've heard. Her assignment is the following:

She wants to hear about our childhood....some good memories...with pictures if possible...

Unfortunately, my scanner is not working so I won't have any pictures....but here are my Happy Childhood Memories....

I loved my dogs Megan, our boxer, and Gwyneth, our poodle/basset hound mix. I spent many hours with my "sisters".....I have 4 brothers so I claimed any sisters I could!!

Every summer we rented a cabin at Pine Grove, which is a little "resort" near Clear Lake, CA. We spent our days at the pool and our nights in the community hall playing bingo.....I loved those days....pure summer fun.

We also went to England and Wales most of the summers. We would spend about a month or so at my aunts' houses. Two of my aunts live on farms, one in the Welsh mountains and one near London. Our days were spent horseback riding all over the Welsh mountains and playing with all my cousins.....wonderful memories from those days.

We also spent a lot of time at the beach and hiking. Most of these adventures were with only my dad. My mom would stay home and I never understood why until I became a mom myself. She would have a whole day with the house to herself....I am sure these were her favorite days during our childhood, especially after a week spent with the 5 of us!!!

Those are some of my fond memories, sorry I didn't have any visuals to accompany them!! For more fond childhood memories head on over to Molly's place.

An Award!!!

Crystal from Memoirs of a Mommy gave me this adorable award! Thank you so much Crystal, that was very sweet of you. If you have not had the pleasure of meeting Crystal yet, what are you waiting for??? She is an incredibly strong woman and wonderful Mommy.....go visit her and read about her miracle little boy Noah...you won't regret it!!!




Now to pass it on and Share the Love. I am going to be very lazy tonight and not link to their blogs (so sorry, but I am very tired!!)...you know who you are.... ....I came back today and added the links!!


Debbie
Tera
Beth
ChrisB
Irene
Heather
Jennifer
Coffee Bean
DysFUNctional Mom
Karisma
Melissa
Kelly
Mamarazzi

Have a wonderful day....I enjoy visiting your blogs and love it when you visit mine!!!

Fun Monday

Our most excellent hostess with the mostess this week is the lovely Karisma. Her assignment is to show something that we made, and we can't show our children. Although in my case I did not actually "make" my children, but I am "making" them into the people they are becoming....but I digress....I will show you something I created. I have never thought of myself as an artist until the gardening bug bit me a number of years ago. I love to garden and I love lots of color in my garden. The following pictures are of my front garden. My back garden in under construction right now and is not quite finished yet.


So here is my creation.....my little oasis where I get dirty and clear my mind and commune with nature....Enjoy...

Thanks for visiting my creation....now head on over to Karisma's to see everyone else's creativity!!