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Thursday, April 2, 2009

A Special Visit

Last week we had a very special visitor, Cassie's birthmother and little sister. We have been very fortunate to have a open adoption relationship with her and they live fairly close to us. We don't see them very often, but we thoroughly enjoy our visits when we have them.

Cassie's birthmother has another daughter now, she is 17 months old and is absolutely gorgeous. She does not physically resemble Cassie, but I see aspects of Cassie in her. Seeing this precious little angel takes me back to the days when Cassie was that little. It seems like it was just the other day, but, she will be 14 next month. I can't believe how fast time goes by. They have the same little hands and the same little feet. They have some of the same expressions and the same laid back personalities. Cassie's birthmother knows how to make her daughters, they may not look like her, but they have all her good qualities.

Seeing Cassie's birthmother (CM) reminds me of the love and gratitude I feel for her. Without her, I would not be a mom. To be perfectly honest, there are days when I question my desire to become a mom. When I think - "What the hell was I thinking? I signed up for this crap?" But, then again, there are days when I look at my children and cannot imagine what my life was like before I became a mom.

I love my role as a mother. I cherish it. I take it very seriously. I value it. I thank CM everyday for allowing me to take this journey. CM and I are very close. We may not see each other often, but when we do, it is like we just saw each other the day before. Our relationship is very easy going, casual, and comfortable. She walks in the house, kicks off her shoes, takes a seat, and we immediately begin our hours long chat fest. Literally, hours long. I am truly blessed to have this relationship with her. Cassie adores seeing her, and adores her little sister. She dotes on her, it warms my heart.

When Dave and I began our adoption journey 15 years ago, we were adamant about not having an open adoption. We decided we would sent a picture or two in the child's lifetime, but that was it. Somewhere along the way, we changed our minds, our perspectives. Thank God we did. I feel like we have a perfect balance. We have a precious daughter who is loved by our family and her birthfamily. We have a relationship with them that is not too intrusive on either side, but inclusive in love and respect. Cassie knows where she came from and where she is going.

CM gave us a gift 14 years ago, we are giving Cassie a gift in knowing her birthfamily, we are giving CM a gift in knowing her daughter. It is a definite win/win situation.


Jan said...

I'm so happy for you. You and Dave made a great decision for your family.

lisaschaos said...

I love that you all have this relationship. Again I say you are the most unselfish person I know! What a cute photo of Cassie and the wee one!

Pamela said...

Open adoptions should be an encouragement for more young women like CM. I'm sure she realizes that she has the best of both worlds now.

As a mother, it is impossible to relate to the sacrifice of giving up a child. Most of us wouldn't be able to navigate our own heart to find the most loving thing to do.

Next time you see CM, give her a hug from one of your readers

Karmyn R said...

I still think this is just one of the most heart-warming and miraculous situations ever. You were very lucky to get both Cassie and CM!! (and CM was lucky to have you)

ChrisB said...

I think that it is amazing that you have such a wonderful relationship with CM.