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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Healing after the Storm

Experience has taught me that growth is born from pain. There are no regrets, only lessons to be learn. Mistakes are made in order to educate myself in life. I know this, but it is so hard to remember when mired in the pain.

Last week/month has been difficult here, as you read on my post the other day. I knew there would be much growth both individually and as a family, but I also knew we had to go through the mire and pain to get there. I think we are there now, I know we are there now. Our family has grown and so have we individually.

Healing, for me, at times can be difficult. I know what my spirit needs to heal, but sometimes I am so mired in the muck that I resist my needs. I knew, this time, I had to fight through the muck or I would get so entrenched in it that I would not find my way out, for awhile.

Friday night both children were gone on sleepovers and Dave had plans with a friend. I knew that if I stayed home alone I would make myself very comfortable in the muck. Usually I love my alone time...but not this time. I knew it would be unhealthy for me.

I called my best friend, the one person who knows me better than anyone. We have been friends for over 30 years (can you believe we are that old T??) My friend who has a blog but won't give me the link to it!!!, but reads my blog daily!!! Anyway....we went out for Chinese food and then came to my house and made cookies and talked and laughed for hours. For Hours!! It was wonderful. Just what I needed...some Girlfriend Time. Thanks are the bestest friend ever....(even if you won't link me to your blog).

Saturday Dave and I had the day to ourselves. The kids were not due home until mid afternoon. I suggested that we take the hike I took you on yesterday in my post. It was a glorious day and the hills were more colorful than they were last week. We walked for over 2 hours and talked and laughed and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Halfway through the walk I realized that Dave was not next to me. I turned around and saw him bent over picking a wildflower. There is nothing more endearing to me, or humbling, than to see the man I love picking a wildflower. It brought tears to my eyes. We lamented about picking a bouquet because our motto about nature has always been - "Leave only footprints and take only pictures and memories". We felt it would be wrong to pick a bouquet, but we really wanted to. So...we compromised. We picked a bouquet and promised the Wildflower Fairies that we would save the seeds and return them to the hills. We spent the next half of the walk picking the gorgeous bouquet you see in this post.

We weathered the storm. We have grown as a family and as individuals. Healing, for me, took place in the laughter, the friendship, the love, the flowers, the hills....nature. Another storm is brewing on the horizon. I do not know when it will get here, but know it will come. I have gained important knowledge through this storm. I know it will help me through the next one. Most importantly I know that through love and nature....I will flourish, I will grow, and I will heal.


Mother Goose said...

those wild flowers are gorgeous, i especially love the touch of orange in it! Storms always make us stronger in the end! I'm glad you have a good friend, to see you through it, even though she won't give you her blog link!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Beautiful post!

Anonymous said...

The only wisdom I have for you is to remember that our children aren't saints, aren't perfection, aren't angels - alas, they are people. And unfinished ones at that.

Cassie has reached the age where she will make lots of wrong choices and decisions and she (and her family) will pay for them. Hopefully they won't be large enough that she will pay for them the rest of her life, but some may be. Her mother did and so did Laura. Luckily both of them made a wonderful choice for their children - you and Dave.

It's a long road to learn how to be an adult and none of us get there without disappointing ourselves and the ones we love sometimes, but we do get there and Cassie and Michael will be people you will be very very proud of.

You just have to make this trip with them first. You're still teaching them, just like you taught them to walk and talk - now you're teaching them how important integrity and trust and courage are - and how fragile. That is much harder.

Karen in SC

ChrisB said...

I think you are wonderful how you work things out together. We do learn from our mistakes and grow from them and your attitude is very inspiring.

Jan said...

Great post. We keep learning, all of our lives, if we're smart, and you're smart.

Heather said...

Lovely words and flowers.

lisaschaos said...

Yay! I love that you know yourself that well. Sometimes that's hard to do. I have moments where it's really hard for me to be alone, yet I have no other choice. I love your wildflowers!!

Anonymous said...

I haven't had a chance to read in a while but I'm glad I did read this one. I will ALWAYS be here for you ... just like you are always there for me!! I predict we will still be bestest friends in another 30 years too! I LOVE YOU!!

Nina T

ps What blog???? :)