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Monday, October 13, 2008


Today I took Cassie to her yearly cardiologist appointment. She was diagnosed with a right bundle branch block 18 months ago. Fortunately, her EKG has not changed in the past 18 months so no treatment is necessary. We just need to monitor it closely, make note of any clinical/physical changes, and have regular visits with her cardiologist.

Her cardiologist's office is about an hour from our home. Ironically, it is located at the hospital she was born. Consequently her birthmother lives very near the office and we usually meet with her for a visit. Unfortunately, her birthmother was sick today so we had to postpone our get together. Cassie was disappointed, but we will schedule a visit soon. Cassie has a baby sister who will be 1 this month, she was looking forward to seeing her again.

I always find myself reminiscing when we venture down to this area. I vividly remember the day she was born. I watched my daughter today having her tests done and I became overwhelmed with emotions. I felt intense gratitude that she is healthy. Her condition does not affect her quality of life, this is a blessing.

I also thought about the miracle our bodies are, and how fragile they can become. Our bodies are a finely tuned machine and one misfired neuron can affect the entire operation. It is a wonder and a miracle. I was reminded to cherish my body, not to harm it.

My mind wandered down other avenues also. I saw my daughter as a life that was created by two people that were strangers to me. One has become a part of our family, one is still a stranger. Cassie does not physically resemble her birthmother, she may or may not resemble her birthfather. We have never met him. Irregardless, she is our daughter, given to us in love by a woman/child who was too young to become a mother. But she did become a mother in birth. She chose life for her baby. What would have happened if she hadn't made that choice? Cassie would not be here, where would my life be?

The moment that baby girl was placed in my arms my life changed. Everything changed. I love being a mom and my world revolves around my children and my home. All the choices and decisions I make are made with my family in mind. I have become a better person because I am a Mom. I am more empathetic, patient, kind, loving, compassionate, and open minded because I am a Mom. Where would my life be without Cassie? I have no idea, but I am awfully glad I don't know or need to find out. I am glad life was chosen and we were chosen to parent this angel child.

Today was a day of reflections. Another reminder of how grateful I am to have the name Mom. How grateful I am to have 2 beautiful and healthy children. How grateful I am to appreciate this gift and cherish it. How grateful I am that 2 beautiful women chose life and chose us to parent their angels.

Just for the record I believe that all women need to able to make this choice for themselves, the government should not make it for them.

Don't forget to enter my Give Away.


Tera said...

Thank you for a beautiful post Alison. I too, am glad Cassie came into your life. I didn't know you before, but I truly love the woman you've become.

bermudabluez said...

What a wonderful tribute! I agree with should be the woman's choice!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

What a beautiful post. The 2 birthmothers of your children should feel so blessed that you are those kids' mother. They know your kids are loved and well taken care of.

Mamarazzi said...

OH the heartbeat behind this post!



i am a better person because i am a mom. i love that we share that sentiment!

lucky Cassie...lucky you.

lisaschaos said...

I'm glad Cassie is not having issues with this problem and that you're keeping a close eye on it. :) I would imagine it would be a time a reminiscing each time you went. And I'm sorry that Cassie missed visiting with the lady who made a wonderful choice of a mother for her. XO

Heather said...

Your reminiscing was beautiful. How did you discover Cassie's condition? It always frightens me that your kid can be normal/ healthy all their life and then something is discovered that's been there all along or developed.

Rayne said...

What a beautiful and thoughtful entry today.
It has reminded me of how many blessing I have in my own life.

ChrisB said...

So glad to hear Cassie's checkup went well.
Reading this post vividly brought back all the highs and lows of reading your the adoption journey.
You make a wonderful mother and have a lovely family.

swampy said...

((Alison)) (((Cassie)))

Melissa said...

So glad to hear that Cassie's news was good! I'll pray for her continued good health.

That was a beautiful post.. I type through tears. Thank you so much for sharing!

Pamela said...

Awwwww.... two miracles.
The birth.
The Adoption.

You are so blessed.

swampy said...

There's something for you at My Asylum.

karisma said...

Beautiful post Alison! You are a wonderful mom! Im glad Cassie is doing well!

Big hugs and smoochies xxxxx

Cynthia said...

Wow, what a sweet post.

I am glad that Cassie is feeling fine.

I too love being a mom. It just doesn't get any better than "MOM"

Jennifer said...

You are such a beautiful person. Way nicer than I can ever hope to be. Can we still be friends?

melissa said...

amen, sister!!!
what a beautiful post!!!
hey you! it's been awhile. i just wanted to check in and let you know that i was thinking of you!!

Heather said...

I know this is an older post, but I discovered your blog tonight and wanted to comment. I'm an adoptive mom, too, and I often find myself reflecting on the choices and chances that brought my family together. There is such a sense of the "what-if"s in adoption for me. You put it well.